Tag Archives: Family

Dear Me: A Letter to my 16-Year-Old Self

16 Dec


I read in a magazine once where celebrities had written letters to their 16-year-old selves. My favorite was Phylicia Rashad’s letter. When logging on to Word Press I noticed an article under the Freshly Pressed column by a woman who had written her younger self a letter. So, I decided to do the same.

Me at 16 in Virginia

Me at 17 in New York

Dear Candace,

Your 16th birthday will be one of the best birthdays you will ever have. It will be simple and you’ll be surrounded by family. At this age you are going to fall dangerously in love, move to another state and meet a young woman who will end up being your best friend.

All the things you are making a big deal about now are really not that important. You will find yourself and you will gain confidence. There will be a lot of laughter and you’ll thank God later for taking away things and people who you thought you needed in your life.Your extended family is going to all get back together again and this will be one of the greatest moments of your life.

There will be a lot of things that you will try to make sense out of and you’ll try to fix what isn’t even broken. You’ll want things you can’t have and you’ll stress over the unknown. You won’t get as angry all the time as you age and things that use to upset you, won’t anymore. A lot of people aren’t going to believe in the things you want to do in your life, but that’s okay because one day you are going to wake up and realize that you’re an adult now. You’ll realize that it’s okay to say no, you really can make decisions without someone else permission, and you’ll live without any regrets.

Don’t let what people say about you offend you, their words don’t define who you are. Most of the people around you don’t even know who you really are or what you’re capable of. There will come a day when you won’t care what people say or think about you. You’ll ask for help when you need it and stop taking care of everyone else and take care of yourself. Someone close to you in your family will be very judgmental of some choices you’ve made, another will be a terrible listener, people you thought you could count on will soon be people of your past, and finally you just won’t share much of anything with them anymore and by the time they notice; you’ll be over it.

I know how much you hate dealing with your hair. Don’t worry, in the future, you will find the best solution for yourself.

Times are going to get harder than you’ll ever know. One thing you have to know is that you will get through it. Whatever decisions you make are yours to live with. Any mistake you make is yours to learn from. A dozen family members are going to continue to TRY to tell you what to do. To be honest, it’s going to piss you the hell off, but just ignore them and do what you want after thinking things through.

You’re going to go through a lot, but life does get better. Eventually, you’ll even learn to smile. You’ll smile after losses, after pain, and after the storm. Work hard in everything you do and don’t give up on your dreams and don’t let anyone stand in the way of your happiness. When people say things you don’t like or try to tell you what to do, just say yes and ignore it, the conversation will end faster that way! Happiness and love is in your future and so is a very high college GPA!

Love Always,

23-year-old Candace



What does home mean to you?

12 Nov


Cover of "Children Learn What They Live"

Cover of Children Learn What They Live

Home is a place we all should feel safe at. There should always be peace inside the home. Children should feel loved and be excited about coming home. It is not that way for so many families. Many children get mistreated and grow up and mistreat their children without knowing any better. Children learn what they live.

Couples should make time for each other and make each other comfortable, especially at home. I would like to share one of my favorite poems here.

Children Learn What They Live (1998)

By Dorothy Law Nolte (1924-2005)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Living Your Own Life!

27 Sep


It seems like there is always someone who means well, but comes across as trying to run our lives. It is one thing to give out advice and another to tell someone what you think they should do and how they should do it. Often times it is family who tries to control our every move. We have to just step back and realize that we are adults and capable of making our own decisions. You don’t always have to consult with someone before making a decision. What others tell you might be best for them, but may not work out well with you. If we always do what others want us to do, we can never truly be happy because we are not living our own lives. Some people need to feel like they have to control others. There will be times when we have to discard people from our lives or simply distance ourselves from some people if only for a little while. Whatever decision you make, if it is a mistake, let it be your mistake and not a mistake you made listening to someone else. Sometimes its best to not argue with people and just know that you can do whatever you want. No sense in arguing and getting yourself upset. At the end of the day they will still be trying to tell you how to live your life and you have to know that you don’t always have to take the advice of others. It’s rather funny when an adult tells another adult what they are not allowed to do. Sure we have to respect our parents and elders. Yet, again sometimes we have to distance ourselves if they don’t understand that you are an adult. No matter how many times you tell someone how you want to do something, sometimes they never stop to listen because they are so anxious to tell you how they think it should be. The best thing to do is not consult with them when making a decision and when they feel the need to tell you what to do, just hear them out or tell them you don’t agree! However you choose to handle it, just make sure you are living your life for you and no one else!

Coming Home

5 Apr

Coming Home is a new Lifetime show airing Sundays at 10PM/9C showing emotional military homecomings! April is the month of the military child and we are sending out a special thanks to all those who have served and are serving in the United States military and their families.

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